Have you ever heard of the common saying, "Kill them with kindness"? I always wondered why it was phrased that way. It makes kindness sound like a weapon or a manipulatory tool used to get what you want. That's not the purpose for being kind to someone at all. We forget that even though we think we are doing the right thing, God ALWAYS looks at our hearts and will judge us based on our motives and not just our actions. The motive behind the things we do is our truth. It's who we really are. The people around us may not know our motives but God does, and he knows exactly why we do the things that we do.
"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve." - Jeremiah 17:9-10
With that being said, it is important that we on a daily basis ask God to clean our hearts from any hatred, jealousy, envy, unforgiveness, bitterness or anything that is in there that is not like Him. It definitely is a daily struggle. Afterall, we ARE human and we tend to have these feelings in our hearts on occasion.
However, we have the choice to harbor those feelings and allow them to fester and grow, or we can choose to acknowledge them (and not pretend we are perfect and it's not there) and ask God to release those feelings from our hearts. I try my best to make sure when I pray to ask God to show me the things about myself that I may not want to see but need to see. And He does.
Sometimes it hurts and is shocking to know that I have things in my heart that I'm not proud of. But because God is a forgiving God and a cleansing God, I make sure I ask Him to help me clean up the mess that's in my heart and make me pure for the days ahead.
Sometimes it hurts and is shocking to know that I have things in my heart that I'm not proud of. But because God is a forgiving God and a cleansing God, I make sure I ask Him to help me clean up the mess that's in my heart and make me pure for the days ahead.
With a pure and righteous heart, I am better able to respond to people who come at me in any negative way. Because my heart is in a better condition, I am able to easily recognize when someone is hurting. They may be disguised as a mean, negative, hateful person but sometimes it's best to take a moment, breathe and ask God to help you by giving you the strength to be kind to them (because Lord knows if it were up to me I wouldn't be able to lol). Understand that it definitely requires supernatural power to be able to hold our tongues when someone is coming at us sideways. Sometimes everything within us wants to snap back and give them everything they are spewing at us. When this happens, I try my best to remember,
"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." - Proverbs 15:1
Wherever someone says things to you that may hurt you or may cause you to want to brush them off and look the other way, don't. Realize that it's not them. It's a quality or characteristic in them that God has not yet perfected. Continue to love them, be kind to them and pray for them. God is still working on them. The less you take personal, the more you can look past those "unfinished attributes" and love the God that's in them. With this attitude you can actually help them reach a place of wholeness faster. But harsh words and cold shoulders do nothing but make the imperfections in them grow worse. How you respond to them could actually determine how slowly or quickly they improve.
Swallowing your preferred choice words and being kind will calm any angry person down. Your motive shouldn't be just to shut them up, but to help them. My preferred saying is to "HEAL them with kindness". Your genuine kindness could be just what they need to kickstart their journey to becoming whole again.
Love.
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